............I WAS so HOT as I fumbled for the keys in my Kate Spade purse that I felt like the wet spot in my undies was going to bleed through to my thin skirt! That Greek Man looked at me WITH SUCH PASSION...I felt like FINALLY, I found him. As we rolled into my Apartment, I pushed my Greek onto the carpeted hallway floor. (Honey Bertha is trashy and likes her comfy Carpet). As I landed utop my Greek I realized that his whole body seemed to move with me, with my writhing....AND I DONT MEAN INTIME. I MEAN HIS WHOLE BODY MOVED LIKE HE WAS A BLOB, LIKE HIS SKIN WASNT ATTACHED TO HIS BODY. At this point the Greek murmered, "I think there is something I need to tell you.........I had Gastric Bypass Surgery two years ago and lost 180 pounds!!! 180 POUNDS!!!! I mean the guy couldnt have been more than 170, so he was TWICE THE SIZE THAT HE IS NOW and obviously, his skin must have been hanging off him. He opened his shirt to show me a saggy hanging stomach, that reminded me of the Elephant Man!
Shock registered on my face as I kind of rolled off of him and panted away my longing...."Is it Ok for you?" He kindly asked? Ive had one operation on my skin and still need to have another one"
"I dont know". I mean, thats what Bertha said, at that CRITICAL MOMENT. "I don't know". Well at least it was the truth....He looked at me kindly and asked if he should leave.....
"No you dont have too" He came over and kissed me again, and although it was nice I COULD NOT get that picture of his stomach out of my head!
After a few minutes, he gave me his number and left.
I was dumbfounded. This man IS special...with a JFK jr. Face....but the skin of a 90 year old man.....So what should I have done? I guess I could try to fall in love with him, and then perhaps it wouldnt matter about his skin. But Bertha doesnt like to put off sex! She likes instant pleasure! So, as I write this, I am looking at his phone number. Its been a few days. I still think of those smoldering brown eyes he had. BUT THAT STOMACH...Is Bertha a superfiscial bitch????
Time will tell.
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2 comments:
A Kate Spade purse? Honey, only secretaries and office drones carry those.
You know, I had a similar moment - I met a man on the internet and he seemed so hot, but when I showed up at his house, he failed to tell me that he had had a stroke and was walking with a cane etc...
I didn't know what to do, but I stayed. I didn't have sex with him, but he was so nice, but I just couldn't....
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